Thursday, November 7, 2013

November 2013


Planters Punchlines
Men’s Garden Club of Wethersfield
November/December 2013
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOLIDAY PARTY TIME! (In lieu of Nov/Dec Meetings)

The annual club Holiday Party will be held on
Monday December 2,
5:30 – 9:00 p.m.
@ the Solomon Welles House, in Wethersfield.

Catered Food, Drink, Fellowship, and 
Entertainment by the Wethersfield High School Choraleers.

Spouses/guests are cordially invited.
$15.00 per person ($30.00 per couple)
Bring a potential member @ the above prices. 
If they join the club, then their first year $15 dues are free.

RSVP (including potential member-guests) to President Tony Sanders at 860.529.3257 by Wednesday November 20.

WESTON ROSE GARDEN “WINTER OVER”
Saturday November 17 @ 8:00 a.m.

Branches will be trimmed, & piled next to the driveway (town will pick up), and compost placed around the bushes.  BYO pruners & work gloves please.

Because this a time of seasonal change the November/December edition of the newsletter offers both an autumnal Compostable Matter and some Christmas classics re-purposed for gardeners.  Enjoy and Happy Holidays!

Compostable Matter
By Jim Meehan

This time of year it is hard not to feel like one of those rapidly crisping oak leaves clinging tenaciously to their sixth-story penthouses along the border of my front yard.  Especially if you are a gardener.
             
Autumn and spring are actually my favorite horticultural seasons.   

Summer, aka the growing season, not quite so much – toiling in the hot sun just isn’t fun.  Winter is something that we New Englanders say we enjoy because – like not wearing white before Memorial Day or after Labor Day - it is one of the rules for living here. 
             
Autumn and spring however are the times when I get to do the things that I believe allows me to call my self a plantsman – putting in, pulling out, cutting down, and raking up.               

There is not much “putting in” this time of year except for bulbs, which I don’t do much of – preferring to give food directly to the squirrels rather than burying it underground and forcing them to dig it out.  (This is my same approach to Casino gambling.  Instead of wasting all that time at some noisy gaming table with a bunch of blurry-eyed strangers, I would rather march directly to the cashier’s window, just hand over my money, and go do something more meaningful with my time – such as putting, pulling, cutting and raking.) 
             
Like many of those who have gardened for lots of years, pretty much of all my available growing space is dedicated to perennials – many of them, in spite of my previous writings, not invasive.  This can present a problem to someone who considers the major role of a gardener to be putting new plants in the ground.   

So every spring, as soon as the first sprig of green-anything appears in any of my plots, I go on my annual deathwatch walk – looking for (and secretly hoping for) shrubs that might not have made it through the cold weather and (joy of joy) need to be replaced.  Fortunately for the lives of all the later bloomers Marsha has the final vote – thus preventing me from uprooting everything and putting in another round of what would be correctly labeled “annual perennials”. 
             
To substitute for my frustrated “pulling out” and “putting in” yearnings Marsha now has me cut down all the perennials in the spring rather than the fall when I used to do it.  Nonetheless every November I approach her with Golden Retriever eagerness fondling my pruning shears and seeking permission to ravage the low-growing foliage.   

And every year she patiently explains to me that fall shearing (a) removes hiding and resting places for the birds that provide so much cold weather entertainment to us, (b) makes our property look less inviting than the Russian Tundra by removing all the “winter interest” and attendant shadows from the land and (c) really confuses the plants who, after being pinched back, get hit by one of those freakishly hot October/November days that seem to be becoming more common nowadays, and decide to start blooming – only to have their growth spurt crushed by three months of really inhospitable cold.
             
So I go get my big red oversized plastic rake and gather up the fallen high-altitude foliage instead.   And, like one of the aphorisms on my daily Dove dark chocolate candy wrapper counsels me “Take time to notice the leaves changing.” 

And it’s not just the ones I am herding to the curb.  I also see such works of art as the jarringly red Burning Bush cross the street, the maroon fronds of my backyard blueberry bushes, the orange Chinese lanterns amidst the soft, auburn Coreopsis feathers, and most of all this year,

Prostrate gold hostas
bowing obsequiously -
autumn supplicants.
           
All that plus the warm sun on my back.  It’s definitely something worth hanging on to – at least in our memories.


 'Twas the Night Before Christmas - A Gardener's Version
By Kate at Gardening Without Skills

'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the yard,
Not a veggie was growing, not even the chard.
The trellis was strung by the green beans with care,
In hopes that an edible plant would grow there.

The chickens were nestled all snug in their nests,
While visions of pasta worms danced in their heads.
Farmer B with his light beer and I with my wine,
Had just settled down for some nice TV time.

When out in the garden I heard a big noise,
I leapt from the couch and tripped over some toys.
Away to the screen door in four seconds flat,
Flipped open the gate latch and tripped on the cat.

When what to my bloodshot eyes did appear,
But a master gardener with a new pair of shears.
He was pushing a wheelbarrow so heavy with plants,
That I started to do my best happy dance.

He was dressed all in green from his hat to his boots,
And his pants were all muddy with dirt from plant shoots.
A bundle of seedlings he had flung on his back,
And he looked for a place to begin the attack.

His trowel how it twinkled - his hoe was so shiny!
His spade was brand new - his gloves were so tiny!
His droll little mouth was drawn up in a smile,
As he worked with his tools in a whimsical style.

He spoke not a word as he started to plant,
And took out some seedlings that he could transplant.
He filled all the raised beds with veggies galore,
As I stood there watching from my screened back door.

And laying his shovel right next to his hoe,
I knew it was time for the gardener to go.
But I heard him exclaim as rolled out of sight,
Happy Gardening to all and to all a good night.

A Gardener's Night Before Christmas
Tony Fulmer at http://www.hortiholic.com

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the yard,

Not a plant was left standing, the ground it was hard.
The tools were all hung in the garage with care
A well deserved rest now that the garden was bare.

The bulbs were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of springtime danced in their heads,
I in my Snuggie, my husband with our cat
Had just settled in for a long winter’s chat.

When out in the hydrangeas there arose such a clatter,
I dropped my seed catalogs to see what was the matter.
Away to the front door I quickly dashed,
Half expecting to find my yard had been trashed.

When I opened the door, it was suddenly clear.
Here was a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer
With a little old gardener so lively and quick
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!

More quickly than crabgrass his coursers they came
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name.

“Now Holly! Now Ivy! Now Daisy and Rue!
On Rose, On Petunia, Fern and Lily too!
To the top of the trellis! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!”

So up to the housetop the reindeer they flew
With a sleighful of gifts and St. Nicholas too.
I closed the front door and was turning around
When he slid down the chimney, hitting the ground.
He was dressed all in red, with Wellies on his feet,
And a poinsettia on his cap made him look really neat.
He stood up quite quickly and went straight to his work
With a composter for Cathy, a Dutch weeder for Dirk.

There were asters for Ann, a pine tree for Paul
And a garden design book for use by us all.
Next came a rain barrel. This was for Rob.
And finally, for me, a ginkgo key fob.

Then laying a trowel aside of his nose
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
He ran to his sleigh and gave a quick whistle
And away they all flew like the seeds of globe thistle.

But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all gardeners and to all a good night.”

The Twelve Days of Christmas, Musical Gardener Style
http://themusicalgardener.blogspot.com

On the first day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
A tiller that makes me happy

On the second day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that makes me happy.

On the third day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Three loads of cow poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that makes me happy.

 On the fourth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Four pots for hanging,
Three loads of cow poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that makes me happy.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Five trays of plants!
Four hanging pots,
Three loads of poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that makes me happy.

 On the sixth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Six hoes for hoeing,
Five trays of plants!
Four hanging pots,
Three loads of poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that makes me happy.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Seven plants for potting,
Six hoes for hoeing,
Five trays of plants!
Four hanging pots,
Three loads of poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that makes me happy.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Eight rakes for raking,
Seven plants for potting,
Six hoes for hoeing,
Five trays of plants!
Four hanging pots,
Three loads of poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that makes me happy.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Nine bags for mulching,
Eight rakes for raking,
Seven plants for potting,
Six hoes for hoeing,
Five trays of plants!
Four hanging pots,
Three loads of poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that makes me happy.

 On the tenth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Ten cans for watering,
Nine bags for mulching,
Eight rakes for raking,
Seven plants for potting,
Six hoes for hoeing,
Five trays of plants!
Four hanging pots,
Three loads of poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that makes me happy.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Eleven bulbs for planting,
Ten cans for watering,
Nine bags for mulching,
Eight rakes for raking,
Seven plants for potting,
Six hoes for hoeing,
Five trays of plants!
Four hanging pots,
Three loads of poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that makes me happy.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Twelve shears for pruning,
Eleven bulbs for planting,
Ten cans for watering,
Nine bags for mulching,
Eight rakes for raking,
Seven plants for potting,
Six hoes for hoeing,
Five trays of plants!
Four hanging pots,
Three loads of poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that makes me happy.
  
Shouldn't be that hard should it?

So You Think You Know Your Christmas Plants - The 2008 Christmas Quiz
http://balcony-garden.blogspot.com

You´ll find the answer at the bottom - no cheating please or Father Christmas won´t come

1. Two of the gifts brought by the wise men were Frankincense and myrrh, which come from trees of the genera Boswellia and Commiphora respectively. But what are they exactly?

a) a resin which oozes from the bark
b) an oilpaste made by pressing the berry-like fruits
c) a tincture made by soaking the leaves in alcohol

2. Ivy was traditionally hung over the entrance to the house at Christmas time because it was thought it would...

a) bring good luck in the coming year
b) frighten away goblins
c) protect from the plague

3. Something else you may have in the house this Christmas is Euphorbia pulcherrima. What is it?

a) mistletoe
b) holly
c) poinsettia

4. The most well-known Christmas tree in Britain is the one which goes up in Trafalgar Square in London each year. It´s a gift from the people of another European capital. Which one?

a) Oslo (Norway)
b) Stockholm (Sweden)
c) Helsinki (Finland)

5. How do you get your Christmas Cactus to bloom at Christmas?

a) Keep it in low humidity and stop watering around about the beginning of November.
b) Make sure it has 13 or more hours of continuous darkness per day starting around the beginning of October with temperatures between 50 and 55 degrees Fahrenheit.
c) Keep it on a windowsill and turn it three times a day to ensure it receives light on all sides.

6. Christmas pudding was traditionally called plum pudding. But why, when there are no plums in it?

a) In the 16th century plum was a generic term which referred to any type of dried fruit - including raisins, which are a basic ingredient of the dish.
b) In the 17th century, plum was used as an adjective meaning delicious.
c) In the 13th century it was actually called plumb pudding. Plumb comes from the Latin word for lead, and it was a reference to how your stomach felt after eating it...

OK here are the answers : 1.a; 2.b; 3.c; 4.a; 5.b ; 6.a

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