Planters
Punchlines
Men’s Garden Club of Wethersfield
November/December 2013
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOLIDAY PARTY TIME! (In lieu of Nov/Dec Meetings)
The annual club Holiday Party will be held on
Monday December 2,
5:30 – 9:00 p.m.
@ the Solomon
Welles House, in Wethersfield.
Catered Food, Drink, Fellowship, and
Entertainment by the Wethersfield High School Choraleers.
Spouses/guests are cordially
invited.
$15.00 per person ($30.00
per couple)
Bring a potential member @
the above prices.
If they join the club, then
their first year $15 dues are free.
RSVP (including potential
member-guests) to President Tony Sanders at 860.529.3257 by Wednesday November 20.
WESTON ROSE GARDEN “WINTER OVER”
Saturday November 17 @ 8:00
a.m.
Branches will be trimmed, & piled next to the driveway (town
will pick up), and compost placed around the bushes. BYO pruners & work gloves please.
Because this a
time of seasonal change the November/December edition of the newsletter offers
both an autumnal Compostable Matter and some Christmas classics re-purposed for
gardeners. Enjoy and Happy Holidays!
Compostable Matter
By Jim Meehan
This time
of year it is hard not to feel like one of those rapidly crisping oak leaves
clinging tenaciously to their sixth-story penthouses along the border of my
front yard. Especially if you are a
gardener.
Autumn and
spring are actually my favorite horticultural seasons.
Summer, aka the growing season, not quite so
much – toiling in the hot sun just isn’t fun.
Winter is something that we New Englanders say we enjoy because
– like not wearing white before Memorial Day or after Labor Day - it is
one of the rules for living here.
Autumn and
spring however are the times when I get to do the things that I believe allows
me to call my self a plantsman – putting in, pulling out, cutting down, and
raking up.
There is not much “putting in” this time of year except
for bulbs, which I don’t do much of – preferring to give food directly to the
squirrels rather than burying it underground and forcing them to dig it
out. (This is my same approach to Casino
gambling. Instead of wasting all that
time at some noisy gaming table with a bunch of blurry-eyed strangers, I would
rather march directly to the cashier’s window, just hand over my money, and go
do something more meaningful with my time – such as putting, pulling, cutting
and raking.)
Like many
of those who have gardened for lots of years, pretty much of all my available
growing space is dedicated to perennials – many of them, in spite of my
previous writings, not invasive. This
can present a problem to someone who considers the major role of a gardener to
be putting new plants in the ground.
So
every spring, as soon as the first sprig of green-anything appears in any of my
plots, I go on my annual deathwatch walk – looking for (and secretly hoping
for) shrubs that might not have made it through the cold weather and (joy of
joy) need to be replaced. Fortunately
for the lives of all the later bloomers Marsha has the final vote – thus
preventing me from uprooting everything and putting in another round of what
would be correctly labeled “annual perennials”.
To
substitute for my frustrated “pulling out” and “putting in” yearnings Marsha
now has me cut down all the perennials in the spring rather than the fall when
I used to do it. Nonetheless every November I
approach her with Golden Retriever eagerness fondling my pruning shears and
seeking permission to ravage the low-growing foliage.
And every year she patiently explains to me
that fall shearing (a) removes hiding and resting places for the birds that
provide so much cold weather entertainment to us, (b) makes our property look
less inviting than the Russian Tundra by removing all the “winter interest” and
attendant shadows from the land and (c) really confuses the plants who, after
being pinched back, get hit by one of those freakishly hot October/November
days that seem to be becoming more common nowadays, and decide to start
blooming – only to have their growth spurt crushed by three months of really
inhospitable cold.
So I go get
my big red oversized plastic rake and gather up the fallen high-altitude
foliage instead. And, like one of the
aphorisms on my daily Dove dark chocolate candy wrapper counsels me “Take time
to notice the leaves changing.”
And it’s not just the ones I am herding to the
curb. I also see such works of art as
the jarringly red Burning Bush cross the street, the maroon fronds of my
backyard blueberry bushes, the orange Chinese lanterns amidst the soft, auburn
Coreopsis feathers, and most of all this year,
Prostrate gold hostas
bowing obsequiously -
autumn supplicants.
All that plus the warm sun on my back. It’s definitely something worth hanging on to
– at least in our memories.
'Twas the Night Before Christmas - A Gardener's Version
By Kate at Gardening Without Skills
'Twas the night
before Christmas when all through the yard,
Not a veggie was
growing, not even the chard.
The trellis was
strung by the green beans with care,
In hopes that an
edible plant would grow there.
The chickens were
nestled all snug in their nests,
While visions of
pasta worms danced in their heads.
Farmer B with his
light beer and I with my wine,
Had just settled down
for some nice TV time.
When out in the
garden I heard a big noise,
I leapt from the
couch and tripped over some toys.
Away to the screen
door in four seconds flat,
Flipped open the gate
latch and tripped on the cat.
When what to my
bloodshot eyes did appear,
But a master gardener
with a new pair of shears.
He was pushing a wheelbarrow
so heavy with plants,
That I started to do
my best happy dance.
He was dressed all in
green from his hat to his boots,
And his pants were
all muddy with dirt from plant shoots.
A bundle of seedlings
he had flung on his back,
And he looked for a place
to begin the attack.
His trowel how it
twinkled - his hoe was so shiny!
His spade was brand
new - his gloves were so tiny!
His droll little
mouth was drawn up in a smile,
As he worked with his
tools in a whimsical style.
He spoke not a word
as he started to plant,
And took out some
seedlings that he could transplant.
He filled all the
raised beds with veggies galore,
As I stood there
watching from my screened back door.
And laying his shovel
right next to his hoe,
I knew it was time
for the gardener to go.
But I heard him
exclaim as rolled out of sight,
Happy Gardening to
all and to all a good night.
A Gardener's Night
Before Christmas
Tony Fulmer at http://www.hortiholic.com
Twas the night before
Christmas and all through the yard,
Not a plant was left
standing, the ground it was hard.
The tools were all
hung in the garage with care
A well deserved rest
now that the garden was bare.
The bulbs were
nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of
springtime danced in their heads,
I in my Snuggie, my
husband with our cat
Had just settled in
for a long winter’s chat.
When out in the
hydrangeas there arose such a clatter,
I dropped my seed
catalogs to see what was the matter.
Away to the front
door I quickly dashed,
Half expecting to
find my yard had been trashed.
When I opened the
door, it was suddenly clear.
Here was a sleigh and
eight tiny reindeer
With a little old
gardener so lively and quick
I knew in a moment it
must be St. Nick!
More quickly than
crabgrass his coursers they came
And he whistled and
shouted and called them by name.
“Now Holly! Now Ivy!
Now Daisy and Rue!
On Rose, On Petunia,
Fern and Lily too!
To the top of the
trellis! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away, dash
away, dash away all!”
So up to the housetop
the reindeer they flew
With a sleighful of
gifts and St. Nicholas too.
I closed the front door and was turning around
I closed the front door and was turning around
When he slid down the
chimney, hitting the ground.
He was dressed all in
red, with Wellies on his feet,
And a poinsettia on
his cap made him look really neat.
He stood up quite quickly and went straight to his work
He stood up quite quickly and went straight to his work
With a composter for
Cathy, a Dutch weeder for Dirk.
There were asters for Ann, a pine tree for Paul
And a garden design
book for use by us all.
Next came a rain
barrel. This was for Rob.
And finally, for me,
a ginkgo key fob.
Then laying a trowel
aside of his nose
And giving a nod, up
the chimney he rose.
He ran to his sleigh
and gave a quick whistle
And away they all
flew like the seeds of globe thistle.
But I heard him
exclaim as he drove out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to
all gardeners and to all a good night.”
The Twelve Days of Christmas, Musical Gardener Style
http://themusicalgardener.blogspot.com
On the first day of
Christmas,
My true love gave to
me:
A tiller that makes
me happy
On the second day of
Christmas,
My true love gave to
me:
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that
makes me happy.
On the third day of
Christmas,
My true love gave to
me:
Three loads of cow
poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that
makes me happy.
On the fourth day of
Christmas,
My true love gave to
me:
Four pots for
hanging,
Three loads of cow
poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that
makes me happy.
On the fifth day of
Christmas,
My true love gave to
me:
Five trays of plants!
Four hanging pots,
Three loads of poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that
makes me happy.
On the sixth day of
Christmas,
My true love gave to
me:
Six hoes for hoeing,
Five trays of plants!
Four hanging pots,
Three loads of poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that
makes me happy.
On the seventh day of
Christmas,
My true love gave to
me:
Seven plants for
potting,
Six hoes for hoeing,
Five trays of plants!
Four hanging pots,
Three loads of poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that
makes me happy.
On the eighth day of
Christmas,
My true love gave to
me:
Eight rakes for
raking,
Seven plants for
potting,
Six hoes for hoeing,
Five trays of plants!
Four hanging pots,
Three loads of poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that
makes me happy.
On the ninth day of
Christmas,
My true love gave to
me:
Nine bags for
mulching,
Eight rakes for
raking,
Seven plants for
potting,
Six hoes for hoeing,
Five trays of plants!
Four hanging pots,
Three loads of poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that
makes me happy.
On the tenth day of
Christmas,
My true love gave to
me:
Ten cans for
watering,
Nine bags for
mulching,
Eight rakes for
raking,
Seven plants for
potting,
Six hoes for hoeing,
Five trays of plants!
Four hanging pots,
Three loads of poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that
makes me happy.
On the eleventh day
of Christmas,
My true love gave to
me:
Eleven bulbs for
planting,
Ten cans for
watering,
Nine bags for
mulching,
Eight rakes for
raking,
Seven plants for
potting,
Six hoes for hoeing,
Five trays of plants!
Four hanging pots,
Three loads of poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that
makes me happy.
On the twelfth day of
Christmas,
My true love gave to
me:
Twelve shears for
pruning,
Eleven bulbs for
planting,
Ten cans for
watering,
Nine bags for
mulching,
Eight rakes for
raking,
Seven plants for potting,
Six hoes for hoeing,
Five trays of plants!
Four hanging pots,
Three loads of poop,
Two catalogues,
and a tiller that
makes me happy.
Shouldn't be that
hard should it?
So You Think You Know Your Christmas Plants - The 2008 Christmas Quiz
http://balcony-garden.blogspot.com
You´ll find the answer at the bottom - no cheating please or
Father Christmas won´t come
1. Two of the gifts brought by the wise men were
Frankincense and myrrh, which come from trees of the genera Boswellia and
Commiphora respectively. But what are they exactly?
a) a resin which oozes from the bark
b) an oilpaste made by pressing the berry-like fruits
c) a tincture made by soaking the leaves in alcohol
2. Ivy was traditionally hung over the entrance to the house
at Christmas time because it was thought it would...
a) bring good luck in the coming year
b) frighten away goblins
c) protect from the plague
3. Something else you may have in the house this Christmas
is Euphorbia pulcherrima. What is it?
a) mistletoe
b) holly
c) poinsettia
4. The most well-known Christmas tree in Britain is the one
which goes up in Trafalgar Square in London each year. It´s a gift from the
people of another European capital. Which one?
a) Oslo (Norway)
b) Stockholm (Sweden)
c) Helsinki (Finland)
5. How do you get your Christmas Cactus to bloom at
Christmas?
a) Keep it in low humidity and stop watering around about
the beginning of November.
b) Make sure it has 13 or more hours of continuous darkness
per day starting around the beginning of October with temperatures between 50
and 55 degrees Fahrenheit.
c) Keep it on a windowsill and turn it three times a day to
ensure it receives light on all sides.
6. Christmas pudding was traditionally called plum pudding.
But why, when there are no plums in it?
a) In the 16th century plum was a generic term which
referred to any type of dried fruit - including raisins, which are a basic
ingredient of the dish.
b) In the 17th century, plum was used as an adjective
meaning delicious.
c) In the 13th century it was actually called plumb pudding.
Plumb comes from the Latin word for lead, and it was a reference to how your
stomach felt after eating it...
OK here are the answers : 1.a; 2.b; 3.c; 4.a; 5.b ; 6.a
